1. It's okay not to have your act together
Now you're in your 20's you're expected to have a clue as to what you want from life, what you want to do as a career, whether you want kids, you should be starting to form serious romantic relationships so you can progress to engagement, marriage and children. All of this is absolute rubbish, everyone moves at their own pace, it doesn't make you any less of a person. One of my best friend's is less than a month older than me, he's married, about to buy his first house and wants to start trying for kids soon. For me, that's my worst nightmare, I don't know what the rush is, for me your 20's is about enjoying your life, you have a long old life a head of you to do all the nitty gritty stuff.
2. Time's change and people change with them
Some people who I was friends with ten years ago for example, aren't even in my life anymore. As you grow older yourself and people around you will develop more into themselves and sometimes people grow apart because of that, due to not having the same interests or many other reasons and that's okay.
3. Losing loved ones
I've very recently experienced this one, and it's probably one of the most painful experiences of my life, unfortunately in your 20's, you're at the age where the older generations of your family will start to pass on. At this time you need to be able to take this painful experience and use it to develop and grow into a stronger person.
4. Money doesn't bring happiness but it damn well helps
Money, the bane of most people's lives, in your 20's you will probably spend a large quantity of it financially struggling. But it's also a great time in your life to try and assess your finances and save for the future, even if it's just £10 a month, that's £120 you didn't have saved at the beginning of the year, every little helps. I know it's a pretty daunting idea as well but around now would be a fantastic time to start a pension, your future self will thank you.
5. Bring balance to your life
So you may be a workaholic, you may be so wrapped up in your relationship you couldn't bare to be away from each other or you may just generally be a hermit. Everything in life needs balance, work hard, but also make sure you play hard too. Spend quality time with your significant other, but also make sure you both make time to see your friends too.
6. Take control of your lifestyle
I am fully responsible for my rubbish lifestyle and it's a pretty dominant lifestyle in this age group, of staying up late, little to no sleep, partying, drinking alcohol, eating rubbish food and not exercising at all because you're too busy being engrossed in the latest Netflix tv series. Now is the time to take control of your life, even if it's little baby steps, put down that burger, catch up with friends by going for a jog, or if you really can't part ways with Netflix, invest in an exercise bike or treadmill, two birds and all that.
7. Sometimes you're going to fail
I unfortunately have an obsessive fear of failure, but what we all need to know is sometimes we're all going to fail at something in life even the most successful people in the world and as cliche as it sounds, the most important thing is you tried, you're never going to know how something will turn out unless you jump in feet first. Even if you do fail, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward.
8. Learn to take a compliment
If someone compliments you, they're not doing it for their own self benefit, that's kind of the point of a compliment, but people won't do it if you continue to chuck it back in their face. Take that compliment, recognise what that person has said to you, accept the compliment and use it to build your confidence and self esteem. "Yeah, my hair does look great today", "actually I really do look slim", you'll be amazed as to how good you feel.
9. You are important
It's pretty daunting trying to find your way in this big wide world and starting to feel quite insignificant, that's only natural, the most important thing is you make your time on this big blue planet count for something, do everything you can to make every day count and know you've accomplished something.
10. Haters gonna hate
For some bizarre reason, sometimes in life people decide they don't like you, maybe because they are jealous of you, intimidated by you or even for no reason at all. There is no point in wasting your valuable energy on someone who doesn't like you. Just let them be on their merry way and just know that they aren't worth the ground you walk on.
11. Don't ask, don't get
If you're after a pay rise, a date, a new job, whatever it may be, if you just sit around hoping for it to drop into your lap, odds are, you're probably not going to get it. Get off your arse and be proactive about things and grab life by the balls.
12. Learn to love yourself
Your 20's is the time of your life of self discovery, the time you learn to love all your curves and all your edges. Embrace yourself and rock that new found confidence, there's nothing more attractive than someone who is happy in themselves.
13. Tell people how much they mean to you
Sort of relating to the losing loved ones, but really, if you meet someone and you really like them, tell them! Maybe not in a creepy stalker kind of way like "I want to have your babies". But just embrace the moment, tell your family how much you love them and your friends how much you appreciate them, you never know when that might change.
14. Not to live in the past
People make mistakes in life, if you let your current life be dominated by past screw ups, you'll never be able to find happiness, let go and let live.
15. Obsessive Comparison Disorder
Everyone is different but I am terrible for comparing myself to other people, oh she has an awesome car, a great job, perfect partner and her life just looks so amazing. Specifically on social media, people only post what they want you to know, so when they are filtering out all the break ups, debt and skin break outs, sure their life is going to look pretty awesome. But just remember there are probably people out there who are jealous of you and your lifestyle.
16. Most people want the same thing
The vast majority of people in their 20's are just trying to fumble their way through life trying to achieve happiness and although they may be searching for happiness in different forms, a job, a relationship, money, fame. We all have the same worries as well, money, your family, your job and your relationship. People are scared of failure and losing their happiness. Just remember when you're trying to wade through this ocean of life, you're not alone, there are a lot of people in the same boat as you.
17. Don't isolate yourself
Your friends and family are there to help you and to guide you through trials and tribulations, but if your friends invite you out to the cinema, for drinks or whatever, just make sure you make the effort to keep your relationships going. Relationships need time and nurturing, if you don't nurture your relationships they will wilt and you will isolate yourself.
18. Travel
Whether it is around your home country or across the world, whether you want to go on holiday or go backpacking, just make sure you can get out whenever you can and discover the big wide world. It will make you a better person for it.
19. Look after yourself
Your body is a vessel carrying you through life, don't neglect yourself, whether it be a lazy lifestyle, drugs, alcohol or fast food. You only have one body and one life, make the most of both of them.
20. You've still got a long way to go
People may tell you, that your 20's is the corner stone of life, you need to have a solid foundation to build the rest of your life on. Well sod that, they are right in a sense, your 20's is the corner stone of your life, for enjoying life, for discovering life, for discovering you. Don't make your 20's into doom and gloom for not having it all figured out. There are people into their later years of life that never did quite figure it out, but at least they enjoyed the ride! Don't put so much pressure on yourself, one day everything will just click into place and even if it doesn't, make sure you had a blast a long the way.
All my love,
Bex
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