Time has a way of showing us what really matters

Morning lovelies,

I know! I haven't posted since April 2016, which I have no real excuse for apart from being particularly uninspired and being caught up in the whirl wind of buying a house, getting cats and generally being old. Which got me reminiscaint of my past and what I've achieved with my life since leaving school. Unfortunately I've not always had the best health and spent between the ages of 11 and 19 suffering with collapsing spells which could often cause me to be hospitalised and was never fully diagnosed as to what the cause was.

I spent a lot of that time feeling sorry for myself, I couldn't work as I could collapse at any moment, I couldn't be left on a bad day to even wash on my own, I wasn't able to learn to drive like all my friends were doing for obvious reasons and as far as I was concerned I would never really live a 'normal' life. As previously stated these collapsing spells came to a halt at the age of 19 and when I turned 20 I was able to start learning to drive.

But it made me think about all that time I had spent feeling sorry for myself, I had all of that free time on my hands, I could of learned a new skill, a hobby, a language, achieved all of the same thing my new years resolutions always are. But I didn't I was so consumed with my own self pity, I wasted those years and I have absolutely nothing to show for it.

But this isn't a tale of remorse, regret or sorrow, this is a story of realisation, that all of that time that was spent wallowing in sadness could of been used in a productive way, the only thing that truly stopped me from doing so, was me. It's always the same story every year, whether I have poor health or not. There is always some excuse as to why I cannot achieve my goals. Every year is the same excuses, I don't have the time, I don't have the money, I don't have the resources or I just generally can't be bothered.

I am so sick of this mentality, I have spent so long procrastinating, I have nothing to show for it. 2016 was probably the year I actually achieved the most I had in a long time. I took the next step in my relationship with my Boyfriend and bought our own home, we took on two kittens; Sterling and Archer, I've been able to fully fend and provide for myself and live independently, had fun times with friends and family, became the lowest weight I have been since being a child and potentially the biggest of them all, I have decided to take full accountability for my mental health and commenced a course of CBT treatment (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) which has helped me come to terms with why I have certain thought processes, how to break down years of grief and sadness and being able to channel it into positive thoughts and processes.

After the success of 2016, I want to enter 2017 with an all guns blazing approach, I plan to go hard or go home, since being able to deal with anxiety more affectively, I truly feel like the only thing that will ever stop me from achieving the same goals is me, it's always been me and now things are going to change.

All my love,

Bex

The April Wish List

Currently, I am poor and materialistic, I see something I want, then it dawns on me, I'm skint and buying a house and have to prioritise more important morning things like a kettle or coffee coasters, but that doesn't stop a girl from looking does it?

ASOS Annabelle Lace Up Leather Ankle Boot - £42

Despite recent weather it is quickly approaching the summer season in the UK and who the bloody hell wouldn't want the best of both worlds with a boot and a sandal?! Plus I am partial to a black ugly shoe.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Glow Kit - £39

With the equivalent of a 1000 suns beaming off your face thanks to this godly highlight you can reflect away anyones bad attitude.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Dipbrow Pomade - £15

With this lovely little pot of joy, you can make any down trodden eyebrow into one carved by god himself, well worth £15 if you ask me.

Zoeva Rose Golden Vol. 2 Luxury Brush Set - £65

My face is crying out for a good set of brushes, I've heard nothing but good things about the Zoeva brushes, plus it's rose gold, who can say no?

The Great Frog London Michael Rodent Ring - £170

I don't really have much of an explanation about the ring apart from the fact, I'm pretty sure it would make my life 1,000 times better owning it. (plus it's so me)

A bit less specific

Basically it would just be really nice if someone came along and decided to treat me to a brand new trendy wardrobe both S/S and A/W (a girl has needs). A vanity desk filled with the latest and greatest make up brands so I can have a play around with my face and find my underlying talent for make up artistry. All the perfumes I've ever wanted so I can permanently smell glorious, the equivalent of a Lush store in supplies (stock is running low). A banging body and a few luxury holidays to go with it to show off (Thailand, Florida, Barcelona and a Snow Boarding holiday would more than satisfy my needs).

But apart from what I've listed above and things I need to buy for the house (the entire Ikea show home), there's not really much I'm after this month.

All my love,

Bex

March Favourites

I know, I'm a little bit late to do a favourites considering we're no longer in March, but I felt the need to share with you some of my favourite bits and bobs from March.

Daredevil Season 2 -

Holy balls, I am a fan of Daredevil Season 1, obviously Charlie Cox being a mega babe helps, but Season 2 has blown Season 1 out of the water and I've not even finished it yet. It is extremely dark and a lot more violent than the last season and focuses on Matt Murdoch struggling with his normal life as a lawyer while also trying to keep the streets of Hell's Kitchen safe as Daredevil, I cannot get enough of this.

Estee Lauder Double Wear -

I've returned to the dark side, sadly enough I ran out of Georgio Armani Luminous Silk (which is still way up there for me foundation wise), but due to me still currently suffering from winter skin, I wanted something with a bit more heavy coverage and double wear is like having another layer of skin on your face, I think I'll go back to Luminous Silk for the summer months though.

Nivea Men Post Shave Balm Sensitive -

Now I can appreciate you reading that header and imagining me as a bearded lady, well I'm sorry to disappoint but this is actually probably the best make up primer I have EVER used and I've used quite a few. Just pour of a little dollop into your hand and keep rubbing into your skin until the balm becomes sticky/tacky and I guarantee your make up will not budge all day.

James Bay - 

What can I say, he has the voice of an angel and the face of one too. I went with a few pals to see him at the Hammersmith Apollo at the end of March and he just blew me away how good he was. Plus he is the same age as me so some may say a match made in heaven (sorry Dan).

Salted Butter Caramel Macaron -

It's quite difficult for me to put into words how this macaron made me feel, but it was like all the best things I have ever tasted in my mouth all at the same time. If I had my way it would be all I ate for the rest of my life.

All my love,

Bex

Times a changing

Good Evening one and all,

Tonight I thought I would discuss, the so far whirl wind of 2016, getting my act together and changing with the times.

After many, many, many years of trying to lose weight and get my dream body, I feel like I have finally found my mojo, the get up and go I've been searching for.

This all came about when me and my bestie decided, you know what, enough is enough, I'm sick of being the human equivalent of a manatee, something needs to be done. Generally I am better at dieting, she is better at working her arse off. So we came to the agreement whoever reaches their first goal by X time will receive a reward, now my overwhelming competitiveness has recently really spurred me on and actually got my arse in gear to do what I've wanted to do for so long. So far I have only lost 7lbs, but I think it was because I thought, you know what if I just do my normal calorie counting and be sensible with what I'm eating then the weight will just fall off. A) that's not how it works, b) dieting alone will not tone up those bingo wings honey.

So about 2 weeks ago, I decided to give my weight loss that extra oomph and join the gym, personally I hate the gym, because people sit around on machines scrolling through insta when I want to be using them or they sweat everywhere and don't wipe it up with a towel ugh. But I have continued to bite the bullet regardless, so the plan is continue to be sensible with eating, stay within 1500 calories consumption and aim to burn 1000 calories per gym session 3 to 5 times a week.

Once I have finally moved into the house I've purchased with my significant other in 7 weeks then I will hopefully do a home work out before work then do a work out after work at the gym, whether that happens or not, remains to be seen.

Either way I have taken a before photo and when I get to my body goal, I will take an after photo and compare the two. But one of the most important things to remember about a healthy lifestyle, is the fact it's a lifestyle, it's not a quick fix and then you can go back to your old ways once you've got to your goal, because give it 6 months, you will be straight back where you started. This isn't to say you can't live or enjoy yourself, I'm struggling with the phrase "cheat day" because I work hard all week, if I want a treat, that's called life, not cheating, you're not doing anything wrong, you are enjoying what you have worked for, what you have earned, it's all about balance.

Anyway after that rant, fingers crossed if all goes to plan and I work my socks off, in six months, I'll be even more of a babe than I already am, brace yourself.

All my love,

Bex

Getting your shit together

For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I don't always make the best decisions for myself in life, probably due to being human and muddling my way through life, by decisions,  I mean things like; having that extra slice of pizza, not going for that morning jog, not taking the time to blog my thoughts, buying that new eyeshadow palette I don't need rather than saving my money for more important things. But as I said, I am a 24 year old human, who has made the formal decision to get her shit together. I know more often than not I write a blog about goals or targets and never actually achieve them, well this time, I'm taking a stand, I'm not letting life pass me by and not using my life to it's fullest potential. I'm sick of toxic, bull shit people who just try and take advantage of your good/naive nature, I don't need those people in my life, the people I do need are the ones who know me best, the ones who know what time I'm on the loo or whether I snore at night.

This blog post is about detoxing and not just my body, but my life, for the past month I have been dieting, thanks to a competition with a friend as to who can lose the most weight by dead line date (27th March) and so far it's going pretty well (apart from the five short bread biscuits I've just stuffed in my mouth), but I feel like there is more I need to do, I need to be more pro active in life.

So I vow to do the following:

• Get down to 11st 10lbs by 27th March
• Cut out negative or toxic people
• Go to the gym at least 3 times a week as well as other exercise
• Stop spending money on crap
• Save more
• Take up yoga
• Drink more water
• Read more
• Spend more quality time with my Boyfriend
• Enjoy life

Basically just not living my life as if I don't give a shit, I'm about to embark on a massive adventure of owning my own home and finally looking after myself how my body has craved to be for years, I am 25 years old in November, a quarter of a century old and I plan to use the next three quarters of my century to it's maximum potential. I also know in previous posts I have said I will blog more but, new me and I actually will, it's in my interest to write, I love it, I'm just so unmotivated but that's all about to change.

Welcome Bex 2.0

Lush Skin Care Routine

Evening all,

As it's Sunday evening and we're all having to get ready for the working week ahead of us, I've decided to treat myself to a bit of a pamper evening, which in turn inspired me to share my skin care routine with all of you. Now it will more than likely not come as a shock, but my entire skin care routine is made purely out of Lush skin care items, I will list the items I use, why I use them and whether I would recommend them, so brace yourself! (Disclaimer: I also appreciate everyone's skin type is different and what works for me, may not necessarily work for you, but may definitely be worth looking into).

Ultrabland Facial Cleanser

Let's start at the very beginning, I have previously done a review of Ultrabland and it is still one of my most used beauty items, made with bees wax and honey, apply Ultrabland over your full face of make up and gently rub until your make up starts to melt away, then wash away with either a warm face cloth or cotton pads. I find Ultrabland is quite a heavy duty cleanser but can sometimes leave a bit of a residue which is where my second skin care item comes into play.

Eau De Roma Water Toner Spray

This toner water is made with rose water and lavender to soothe irritated or blotchy skin (I suffer with rosatia), helps freshen your skin and can be used with a cotton pad spritzed over your skin to remove any cleanser residue. 

Gorgeous Facial Moisturiser

This one is a bit more of an expensive item at £42.50 per pot, you would expect this item to be amazing and I have to admit it really has made a difference to my skin. I have combination skin with an oily t - zone, rosatia on my cheeks and a tendency to get stress related acne on my chin. This moisturiser has helped balance out my combination skin, soothe the rosatia on my cheeks and help treat and heal any acne I have had. I would definitely say it's worth the price tag and as Lush state on their website, it's only the best ingredients they use.

Ocean Salt Face and Body Scrub

Ugh, this product is just beautiful, it's made from sea salt, lime and grapefruit, it just smells absolutely incredible, good enough to eat. Ocean Salt is a very abrasive facial scrub so only a small quantity is needed but it really does feel like you have brand new skin and it gives you such a radiant glow.

Mask of Magnaminty Facial Mask

Now I have experienced mixed reviews about Mask of Magnaminty, I have tried quite a few Lush face masks and I always return to Mask of Magnaminty. There have been a few complaints Mask of Magnaminty has caused break outs, but it is a very potent product that really does cleanse your pores so they are full exposed so if it's not used properly and your pores aren't cleansed and sealed it can cause breakouts. The main ingredient in this product is peppermint oil and it also has evening primrose seeds and aduki beans as an exfoliant. So as I said this is a heavy duty product that will clear any crap from your pores but can leave you feeling exposed.

Ultrabalm All Purpose Balm

This stuff really is amazing, it made from only three ingredients - organic jojoba oil, candlelilla wax and rose wax, it's completely natural and a handbag staple during the harsh winter months of cracked skin, but as it's a multi purpose balm it can be used for nearly anything. Some of the examples of it's use are things like chapped skin, hard skin, protect your skin, tame lashes or eyebrows or brighten tattoos it really is incredible.

Sympathy For The Skin Hand and Body Lotion

Again, during the winter months, I really suffer with dry skin and find it difficult to get a decent body lotion that really soaks into my skin and stops any dryness. Enter Sympathy for the Skin body lotion, made from vanilla, cocoa butter, almond oil and bananas, this lotion is full of moisture and nourishment that revives and brightens your skin.

I hope this post has given you some skin care inspiration, let me know how you get on with it.

All my love,

Bex

Welcome to 2016

Afternoon and welcome to 2016! I know it's been a whole month since my last blog post, I have no real excuse but I have been pretty busy with solicitors and mortgage advisors due to 2016 being the year my boyfriend and myself finally buy our own home and move in, pretty crazy eh?

Anyway as cliche as it sounds, there is something very refreshing about a new year, like reading a brand new book, you have 366 days of the unknown ahead of you and you are the Author of this book, so you better make it a good one.

2016 is going to be a pretty crazy and wild year for me, the past couple of years haven't been the best for me 2014 was riddled with Nan's cancer and battling with my own depression, while 2015 started with my Nan's funeral, I had two car crashes and got pneumonia. Every year has it's up and downs but I'm planning on 2016 to be a cracker filled with fun, memories and celebrations.

I haven't really planned any resolutions as such, just to be a generally better version of my current self, Bex 2.0 so to speak, but there are a couple of things that I could list which I would hope to achieve this year.

1. Look after myself

Just generally be more responsible for myself, stop eating crap, exercise more regularly, look after my skin, hair and nails better and just be happy with myself.

2. Be more responsible 

With buying a house comes a lot of financial responsibility, although we can easily afford the house, it's about time that I become more in control of my money and what I spend it on, especially now I need to save to furnish my house to my standards. But not just financially, this sort of refers back to point one, just be more responsible for my money, my health and my happiness.

3. Love myself

One of my main goals is to actually love who I am and what I look like, to do that, I plan to change things up a bit, I'm going to treat myself to a new hair cut and colour, I've signed up to the gym, so it's just a case of dragging my arse down there and style myself better as well.

4. Put down the phone

I find myself constantly glued to my phone, even if I'm watching a film, I'll be browsing insta at the same time, so I need to put some distance between me and my phone to be in the moment and actually be able to appreciate life through my eyes rather through a phone.

5. Relationship quality time

I can't stress how important in a relationship Date Night is, you don't even have to leave the house for it (although it's ideal) and set aside some quality time between you and your significant other. Where I spend so much time with my Boyfriend, sometimes I feel like it's not always quality time and when we're together it's just in each others company rather than quality time with each other. All relationships need quality time together and quality time on your own as well. Also don't forget no matter how busy you are, always make time for your friends, whether it's just a quick coffee or a bit of window shopping, it's always nice to know you're being thought about.

Anyway, another one of my Bex 2.0 improvements is to make sure I blog at least once a week and to set aside more time for myself, for the books, baths and face masks. 

I wish you all a happy, healthy and fun filled 2016 and I'll speak to you guys again soon.

All my love,

Bex